


Christmas Party

by EvenIfYouLoseYourMind



Series: Agent Absinthe Works [1]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Cheating, Choking, Christmas Party, Daddy Kink, F/M, Face-Fucking, I'm Going To Hell For This, Seduction, drinking game, married!merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 12:42:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13590276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvenIfYouLoseYourMind/pseuds/EvenIfYouLoseYourMind
Summary: The new Kingsman HQ was decorated in an array of pure white lights for the festive season, crisp Scotland snow muffled any noise from outside and framed the distillery in an eerily perfect glow.  It was gorgeous and peaceful, well it would have been if anyone were outside to appreciate the beauty.  Instead the agents that had been stationed at home over the holidays were currently inside enjoying a much needed Christmas Party.After one of the Statesman's special drinking game ends in some hurt feelings, Absinthe attempts to apologize to the Scottish tech leading to some much anticipated holiday fun.





	Christmas Party

**Author's Note:**

> Uploaded from my tumblr (agent-absinthe)!

The new Kingsman HQ was decorated in an array of pure white lights for the festive season, crisp Scotland snow muffled any noise from outside and framed the distillery in an eerily perfect glow.  It was gorgeous and peaceful, well it would have been if anyone were outside to appreciate the beauty.  Instead the agents that had been stationed at home over the holidays were currently inside enjoying a much needed Christmas Party with everyone in HQ; from IT to mechanical to the girl who brings round the tea.  Of course, it seemed most people kept to their groups which would explain why there was a table full of agents sitting around with several bottles of whiskey (or whisky respectively) circulating.  Kingsman agents present:  Bors, Percival, Galahad former and protégé, Lancelot, Merlin, and the newly recruited Gawain.  Statesman: Tequila, newly appointed agent Whiskey, Rum, Bitters, and Absinthe.  The table was filled with laughter and cheering as Gawain downed another shot, the poor 23 year old was just trying to keep up.

“Wait, wait, wait!”  Tequila interjected holding up the whiskey bottle, “ok, I know a great drinking game we can play.  The Statesman know it and I’m sure Elise would be happy ta oblige!”  

Rum laughed and nodded, “fucking plleeaase!  I have to know these brit’s dirty laundry!”

“Then its settled.  Bitters, drum roll please-!”

Bitters began furiously beating on the table with her stiletto nails as Tequila stood up and pointed at a very annoyed looking Elise.

“Ladies and Gentleman!  It’s time to plaaay-ba du du duuuuu~ GUESS THAT KINK!  With your lovely, some may say psychic, host- Elise Crofter!”

The table  _erupted_ in applause as Tequila went on to explain the game:  Elise would try to guess as many kinks and or sexual preferences of a certain person.  The more guesses, the more shots.  If Elise was right then the person in question would have to do as many shots as she got right.  Elise would do however many she got wrong.  The only rules being you had to be completely consenting for her to say anything about you and you had to be honest.  Everyone agreed and Eggsy eagerly took the whiskey bottle out of Tequila’s hands as Absinthe grabbed a fresh one.

“Oh, my sweet summer child.  Eggsy, sweetheart you know I love you right?  And Tilde, you’re ok with me just throwing your business out there too?”

The gorgeous princess nodded and laughed, “Oh, please.   _Ruin us_!”

The smile on Elise’s face should have been a telltale sign that Galahad was about to be fucking obliterated, “too easy.  Praise kink, you’re soft the most hardcore shit you do in bed is probably anal, Tilde likes to role play but it makes you feel like you’re cheating so you only barely tolerate it.  You give great head, you’re super vocal during sex, lets see what else… oh! You love to play a sub Tilde definitely gets rough with you, and both of you would be open to a threesome if drunk enough.”

Eggsy looked at his fingers with cold fear.  9.  Oh god. Tilde was clapping excitedly and seemed so impressed she leaned over and gave Elise a full kiss on the mouth, was there tongue?  Maybe…

After several Statesman that almost began to cry at how many they would need to take Harry Hart himself cleared his throat, “pardon me, Elise.  I would be honored if you would read my, kinks? You called them?”

Elise faked a tear and began fanning her face as if touched, “Guess Harry Hart’s kinks?  I’m honored, I’m enlightened, I’ll do my best.”

Harry poured a shot and returned her stare with a confident smile, the smile soon dying down to an impressed blink after she opened her mouth.

“Lingerie.  Oh Harry you love a pretty boy in lingerie, blindfolds, lets see… wax, you like to tease people until they cry and then you like to make them beg for it.  Um, oh god how can I forget the after care?!  75% of your sex life is after care, isn’t it?”

Harry set his jaw and took the 5 shots he owed before answering, “I’m quite impressed, Absinthe.  Perhaps you need a harder target… Do Hamish.”

The change in Elise was immediate.  Confidence and snark are gone as she looks down at the table and prays that the blush of alcohol covers the blush of arousal.  Absinthe has had a thing for the very married and very proper tech wizard since she met him at Statesman HQ, despite the married bit she still found herself flirting with him constantly.  She liked to think he flirted back.

“No, no, I couldn’t-”

Tequila cut her off, “Awwww, Elise come on ya never gave up on someone before.  Fuckin’ I saw ya guess what Bitters loves and she’s ace!”

Bitters nods fondly at the memory, “it was pasta.”

“I don’t-”

This time it’s Merlin himself who interrupts with a crooked grin and a taunt, “ah, come on lass, what’s wrong?  Too hard to read for ya?”

Absinthe visibly tenses, but then fixes her gaze on him with a brutality that she hasn’t shown to anyone else at the table.

“Fine.  Ok, ya want me to just put it all out there?”

“Come on then.”  

Elise makes a show of leaning forward and licking her lips, never once breaking eye contact with the Scotsman who’s running a thumb along the rim of his shot glass like he wants to run it along her bottom lip.

She  _draws_ out the word slow and sweet like it’s a deep insult, “ _v a n i l l a._ ”

The table goes dead silent and Hamish blinks, “ **Pardon me**?”

“Oh, you heard me.  Vanilla. Vanilla.  Vanilla.” Its her turn to taunt now.  

“Ye care to elaborate on that for me?”

“Of course!  Let’s see, how long have you been married?”

“15 years.”

“Wow, what an accomplishment, congratulations, really! Now, everyone gather around as I walk you through a “sexy” night at the McClaughlin house.”  A small pause as Elise takes a shot for courage and then dives in like she’s explaining the plan in an action movie, “7 p.m dinner and teas just ended.  Sophia, right? (a nod and smile from Hamish) Sophia has just gotten out of the shower as you finish whatever piece of tech you decided to bring home that night and fiddle around with despite her tearful pleas to leave work at work.”

Everyone is dead silent as she continues, Hamish a little uncomfortable that she’s able to read their whole fucking lives so easily.

“By 8:30 your both in bed and reading.  Sophia’s fucking gorgeous so she’s probably wearing something comfy like an old t-shirt.  She’s definitely the one who initiates intimacy between you two, I’d say by taking off your glasses and kissing you.”

Merlin is beginning to look visibly upset.  How the fuck could she _know_  this?

“But, I mean why would I want to talk about your foreplay?- Oh wait! There is no foreplay!  Somehow Sophia tolerates the boring ass missionary where you laaast twel- hmm no- nine and a half minutes followed immediately by her leaving to use the restroom where she actually goes to masturbate so she can get some form of pleasure out of the night.”

_Silence._

Tequila breaks it quietly, “Elise, goddamn.  Ya didn’t need to come for the man’s soul like that.”

“No. Yer wrong.”  Defiance is in his eyes like a fucking fire.

“I’m never wrong.”  Just as defiant.  Maybe even more so.

“Ye must have a lot of nerve to-”

“Oh I do, sweetheart.  What are you gonna do, huh?  Prove me wrong?”  She bats her eyelashes at him like a high school tease and relishes in her victory.

No one moves as Hamish takes a single shot and sets the glass back on the table, upside down to signal that he’s done with the game before getting up to leave.  The flush of glory is quickly replaced with guilt for Absinthe and she wishes she hadn’t said anything.  Harry tries calling after him but to no avail and the game continues, Elise keeping track of Merlin as he flits around the groups.  As they move on to a new drinking game he walks out of the conference hall, most likely to retire for the night and Elise excuses herself. God, how was she going to apologize for baring his sex life to his closest friends and coworkers like that?

“Hamish!  Hamish, wait!”  He’s halfway down the hall and by his gait he is in no mood to talk to her.

“Yes, agent?”  He stops and turns to her, the reply is brisk and professional.

“I’m sorry.  I got a little carried away.  And I took it way too far, it was cruel and very, very rude of me to throw all of that out there like I did.  Punch me.”

“… I’m sorry?”

“Oh come on!  I deserve it! It’s the best kind of reconciliation I can offer.  I’ll be fine, I can take it.”

Hamish let’s his eyes do a quick once over of her, “Aye, I’m sure ye can.”

“So, give it to me.”  Elise has to bite her cheek to keep herself from smiling and wondering why she wants to flirt at a time like this, “please?”

He breaks first and laughs, wiping at the corner of his mouth in nervous habit before shaking his head.

“No, Elise.  I’m not going to punch you.”

She huffs.

“Do ya really think of me like that?  Vanilla, boring?  I mean am I that much of a boring ass pleb to you?”  He asks, voice dipping in anger.

“Are you serious?  Hamish, come on!”

“Come on, what?  Just fuckin’ tell me the truth.”

He’s somehow taken one step and is suddenly right in front of her, God he’s so fucking angry it makes her want to fall to her knees for him right there.  No, stop flirting cut the bullshit, he’s fucking  _married_ for god’s sake.  Elise tries to scold herself but then he tilts his head in annoyance like he does with recruits and it’s fucking over for her.

“Come on as in ‘Hey!  Come on I’ve been flirting with you for months and I’d  **love** to fuck you even if I don’t like missionary’ is that what you meant by truth?”

“Ye do remember that I’m married, right?”

There’s no going back.  This is it, this is Absinthe’s now or never moment, she can feel it in the air and the way he’s eating her up with his eyes.  She wants him so fucking bad and he wants her too, she can read him like a book, the only problem is deciding how far Hamish is willing to take this before he chickens out.  Because as much as Elise wants him she also knows that Merlin is faithful to almost a fault, and that’s with everything in his life so it must be tenfold with his marriage.  Fuck it, the worst that could happen is she gets rejected.  Alternatively, the worse thing that could happen is she ruins a marriage.  With a deep breath Elise steps forward and runs a hand down his chest.

“Well, sweetheart that’s more your problem than mine, ain’t it?”

Merlin gives her a dark laugh and grabs her wrist as she pulls away, “you really are the Statesman’s slut aren’t ya?”

It’s meant as an insult but she doesn’t give a shit, “Is that what you want me to be for you?”

He hisses out a shaky breath that he didn’t know he was holding in and turns his head away from her, bringing a fist up to press against his lips.

“Fuck.”

“Well, I mean-”  

Wrong thing to say.  She’s pulled to him roughly, his other hand wrapping around her upper arm hard enough for his blunt nails to leave crescents.

“You’re being so fucking disrespectful ye know that?  To me, my wife,  _yourself_ -”

_Oh do not fucking pull the self-respect card on me you asshole_ , “Hamish, honey I’m not the one holding you against me in a vice grip.  Just let go and I’ll leave you alone.  Go back to our usual office flirting like nothing happened at all, just let me go.”

His grip tightens and Elise lets out a grunt of pain.

“And if I don’t let go?”  He’s staring down at her terrified of what he might do.

“Then you decide how this night goes don’t you?”

She isn’t going to initiate it, no she’ll tease and flirt as much as her heart desires, but when it comes down to it, it’s his decision and she isn’t going to pressure him.  A muscle in his jaw twitches and Elise is now very aware of the fact that he’s shaking.  The hand around her arm moves up to the jaw and then to her face, thumb tracing against her bottom lip before he sighs a quick  _fuck it_ and dives in.  The kiss is gentle at first.  Elise feels weightless from it, his soft lips moving against hers slowly as if getting accustomed until suddenly it isn’t gentle anymore.

Hamish rakes his hands down her body; slipping up the shirt and scratching at her hips, relishing in the softness of them.  Neither is really sure how Absinthe ended up with her back against the wall as Merlin grinds into her and she claws at his back wanting more. He pulls back and presses their foreheads together to try and steady himself because his body hasn’t felt this on edge since his last field mission.

“So, are we just gonna leave it like this in the hallway?  Did ya have your fun already?”  

“No.  I’m gonna take ye back to my room and see just how much of a slut you really are.”

Ok.  She honestly was not expecting the dirty talk.  What a lovely surprise.

It’s a short walk to his HQ quarters, a room that’s more lived in than his own bedroom at home, it’s messy and littered with books and tech, smelling like his cologne and fried wires.  Hamish has absolutely no idea what the fuck he’s doing but he isn’t going to let himself stop and second guess this, even so when they make it into the room he’s relieved when she seems to take over.  Elise tugs off his sweater and then her own shirt, finger tips running up and down his torso in mute amazement before lips replace them and she slips onto her knees and bites his hip.  He hisses at the pain but doesn’t correct her and instead begins babbling out of nervousness when Absinthe gets his pants down and looks up at him innocently as she licks a trail up his cock and begins slow circles around the head.

“I’ve gotten off to imagining this exact thing.  You on your knees for me.”

“Mmm.  Ya?”  

“Ya.  Except yer mouth was a bit fuller.  Can I-” He isn’t sure how to ask it but fuck he wants to so bad.  

“Can you what?”  She giggles at how cute he sounds, all bashful and jittery.

“Fuck your face, I’m sure you’re used to it.”

“Depends.  Can you fuck my throat hard enough?  Make me choke?  Cause I mean maybe if you can’t even handle that then I shouldn’t be here at all.” She says it sweetly, lips never parting contact with his head.

Hamish takes a handful of hair and pulls it back hard enough for her to yelp, “open your fuckin’ mouth.  It being something for me to fuck is more useful than hearing ye talk.”

“Yes, daddy.”

The grip loosens and Hamish has to take another breath to steady himself because _…fuck._

“Good lord, lass.  Daddy, huh?”

“Mhmm.”  She smiles at him and opens her mouth like he asked.

“Good girl.”

Hamish presses himself into her mouth slowly as she grips his thighs to steady herself for what she hopes is going to be a very exciting ride. She looks up at him and moves her tongue around the underside of his cock while he hits the back of her throat and pauses, unsure of himself.  Elise rolls her eyes and fists her fingers into the fabric of his slacks to pull him the rest of the way down her throat with only a small gag.  Merlin’s breathing quickens and he tangles both hands into her hair to begin a slow pace.  The whole situation is the best Christmas gift Elise could have asked for and whether or not he finishes in her mouth like she expects, it’s still fucking hot so she closes her eyes and enjoys it.  Her face is glowing with a satisfied blush and the feeling of his thrusts begin to pick up makes her give him a high pitch moan emanating from her throat, it sounds desperate, she wants him to make her choke.

He gets the hint and stops, “open your eyes and look at me while I fuck your throat.”

They flutter open and Hamish nearly loses himself with how content she look s on her knees for him.  He cups the back of her neck and jerks forward until her nose is pressing into his stomach and her eyes water, there’s no telling where all of this sadistic need has come from but he really wants to see her gagging around him. Elise is suddenly very glad she’s gripping his thighs because Merlin starts moving with a vengeance; never pulling out more than enough for Elise to get in a quick breath through her nose, with both hands in her hair she’s locked in place and has no leeway, there’s saliva steadily dripping down her chin and mascara on her cheeks that does not go unnoticed.

“So fuckin’ pretty like this.  Such a good girl for me.”

Elise knows she can’t handle much more face fucking at this intensity, her stomach is beginning to lurch from all of the alcohol and heavy holiday food.  She pushes her hands up to his hips and digs her thumb nails into the V lines of muscle to get him to stop, the half crescents would leave bruises.  It takes a few seconds but he gets the hint and lets her push off, coughing and gasping.

“Fuck.  Ok, I was wrong you can make me choke.”  She steadies her breathing and wipes the crusty make up with a laugh.

“I told ye.  Let me fuck ya now though, please lass I  _need_  to.”  He doesn’t hide the desperation in his voice as he says it, just grips her hair again.

“Easy honey.”  Elise soothes as she stands up and pushes him to sit on the bed, moving his hands to the button of her jeans where he gets the hint and starts to take them off along with her underwear.

Hamish massages Absinthe’s hips, gazing along her body with a blitzed out expression before pulling her onto his lap and nudging his cock along the opening of her cunt.  Elise laughs and tsks his actions.

“Oh no, we aren’t ready to fuck yet.  Patience is a virtue, Hamish.”  

Elise wants him to work for this, she wants to ruin his fucking life and hear him beg her to do so.  She maneuvers one of his hands from hip to slit, not expecting him to let out a very irritated huff and make to force two of his fingers in at once.

“No.”  Her nails dig into his wrist, “you have nice, long fingers and you are going to take your time in working them into me.  If you try doing that again I will fucking leave.  No wonder the sex in your marriage is tasteless, you don’t put any effort into it do you?”

“Don’t ye dare talk to me like that.  I meant what I said before, all ye are is a slut so watch your fuckin’ tone, little girl.”

“Mmm, I love it when you try to insult me.  Now shut up and work for it.”

Merlin grinds his teeth in rage but forces his fingers to tenderly circle her clit, he’s irritated because she already feels so fucking wet there’s no way she isn’t ready for him to fuck her into the mattress.  His middle finger delves into her, his anger gone as soon as she moans his name and starts to move with him.  Elise gasps when he adds a second and really begins to work, his long fingers making finding that sweet spot an easy job.

“Like this, love?”  His voice is sweet, he’s enjoying this.

“Yes, fuck!  Tap, right there.  God, your fucking  _hands._ Choke me please, please, want you to choke me hard.” Elise whines and pulls the hand groping her tits up to her neck where it settles around her throat like a constrictor and shakes her.

“God, you’re so dirty.  Daddy kink and choking?  This the kind of sick shit the kids are into now a days?”

“It the kind of sick shit you fantasize about doing to me while you lay in here and jerk off?”

Still such a fucking brat even with his fingers knuckle deep in her pussy and a fist around her neck.  Hamish pulls his fingers out of her slowly, enjoying the way she whines, and lets go of her neck to settle both hands back on her hips as she takes the hint and steadies his cock so she can sink down onto it.

“Stop.”  She lays her hands over his, “Let me adjust and then I promise you can fuck me as hard as you want, anyway that you want- but first I need to get used to your cock, honey. I mean fuck you don’t seem to realize how thick ya are.”

Merlin’s panting already and nipping at her neck, “want you to fuck me like this and then I’m gonna prove that missionary isn’t as borin’ as ye seem to think.”

“We’ll see if you last that long.”  She teases and begins to move, pushing him down to lie on the bed with her hands on his chest.

“Come on then, lass.  Show daddy how well ya can fuck.”

Despite her buzzed state of mind Elise is able to set a quick pace, ass bouncing as Hamish squeezes her hips and tries meeting her thrust for thrust. The only breaks she gives him come in the form of several slow rolls of her hips but these just make him see stars and feel like he’s going to prove her wrong by coming while she’s on top of him.

“Still good?  Don’t think I won’t sit your face and make you clean me up if you get off and I don’t. You’re going to make me cum if it takes all night, so why don’t you show  _me_ how well  _you_  can fuck.”

The switch in position is quick, Hamish simply rolling her under him like they’re fighting.  He sits up and lifts her legs over his shoulders, pushing his cock deeper into her and hitting at an angle she isn’t used to.

“Oh fuck fuck fuck.”  Her body starts to shake as soon as he moves.

Hamish rubs up and down her thighs as he leans forward and claps into her, hands soon pressing down onto her ribs instead to keep her in place. His weight makes it difficult for Absinthe to breathe and she starts to get lightheaded, vision getting fuzzy as he fucks her harder.  What sound like sobs are starting slip out of her mouth, she was not expecting this, was not ready for this.

“Is this boring ass missionary?  Huh?  Because ya aren’t looking too upset by it, god you’re so fuckin’ easy aren’t ya?  At least my wife doesn’t cry when I fuck her like this.”

Elise doesn’t know why but that just sends her closer, “it’s. so. fucking. good.  Fuck me harder than her, make me cry come on.”

It’s all getting to be too much for both of them.  Hamish is able to fuck into her harder for several more seconds before he comes with a curse, his hand slipping up to press fingers against her lips as she finishes after him.  He’s pressing his full weight onto her in exhaustion, surprised that her legs were this flexible.

“Holy shit.  Fuck. Hamish, oh my god.”

“Ya, ya I know.  Fuck.”

“I’m sorry.  For everything I said.”

He eases out slowly and lies down beside her, linking their hands as he wipes the sweat off his forehead.  The coolness of his wedding ring burning against the feverish skin.

“No, ye were right about it all.  I just don’t put in effort for her.”

Elise suddenly laughed and got up on unsteady legs to begin picking her clothes up, “well, now you know how to work for it.  Try some new things.  Put the spark back in and all that.”

“Fuck, I just I-”  The reality what just happened seems to finally hit him but Absinthe doesn’t let him continue.

“Hey, whoa whoa.  Don’t get sentimental about this, use it.  Oh, and Hamish?”

He uncovers his face from his hands and grunts, “ya?”

“Merry Christmas.”  Elise blows him a kiss and walks out the door.


End file.
